


Idol

by pleasejustpickaname



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Child Neglect, Fluff and Angst, Homelessness, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:48:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25925407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pleasejustpickaname/pseuds/pleasejustpickaname
Summary: San never intended to become an idol. Having run away as a teen from an Abusive father he never even considered it. But life works in mysterious ways, and maybe humanity isn't so bad after all...
Relationships: Choi San/Everyone
Comments: 8
Kudos: 121





	1. Chapter 1

The streets of Seoul were no place for anyone, let alone a young man of 18.

Yet what could San do? They were undoubtedly safer than what awaited him back home.

He shivered, partly from the cold and partly from the memories which assaulted him. His shaking hands pulled his thin jumper tighter against his body, hoping to at least give the illusion of warmth to his malnourished body.

He remembered the look in his father's eye when he finally turned 18, the pain that had been inflicted upon him for years before. He remembered the night that he broke, when his father tried to drag him inside his bedroom, where in sheer panic he managed to rip his wrist out of the man's grasp and run out of the door, running for hours until he finally collapsed on the streets. He remembered the man yelling after him, cursing him, damning him to hell. Not that hell would be much different from what he had experienced, San thought to himself.

In the weeks that had passed since his exit he had walked for days, barely eating, barely sleeping, just knowing that he had to put distance between him and his father. He had been thankful when he reached Seoul, and that had been where he'd stayed ever since. The amount of people in Seoul was insane, and even if his father saw him it would be easy to get lost in the crowd.

Of course, being homeless in the capital city of South Korea wasn't all rainbows and sunshine either. Gangs of teenagers who thought themselves above the law would taunt him, even adults would spit at the prone form on the streets. San didn't care though, for he had never really known kindness.

At this point, he was just waiting to die. He leant his head back against the brick wall behind him, looking at the sun. He hadn't eaten in days, and was slowly weakening. He could barely stand, his already malnourished form looking like a skeleton. Bruises littered the pitiful form, from harsh kicks to people merely tripping over him. He didn't even have the strength to cry anymore. It wouldn't help anything anyway.

He turned his head to the street when he felt something nudge his leg. A businessman, maybe feeling pity, had placed a half drunk bottle of water next to him, before quickly walking away, like he was afraid someone would judge him for being nice. His skeletal fingers reached out for it, fumbling to undo the lid, before he poured the tiniest bit into his mouth, refusing to drink much more due to the uncertainty as to whether he would get more. He carefully placed the water to his side, within sight should the other homeless folk try to steal it. Desperation could be a hell of a drug, allowing even him to fight off potential theives. After letting go of the water, he clutched the stuffed rabbit a little girl had given him a few weeks prior, and tried his best to sleep.

After all, it was better to sleep during the day time than the night, because the night was when you had to be careful of the dangerous folks out wandering.

A stumbling noise woke him, and when he opened his eyes he found that it was sunset. Eyes lazily flicking around to find the source of noise, he saw a young man, short, with a mullet, stumbling down the street. Either he was drugged or tired, San decided, but judging by the healthy body he was merely sleep deprived.   
But it wasn't safe for him to be out this late.

"Hey," he called out, cringing when his voice cracked before trying again, "Hey, you ok?"

The young man stopped, head flickering around before finally spotting San, who repeated his question. 

"I- er yeah, I'm, I'm fine."

"Tired?" 

"'Lil bit."

San sighed, stumbling up to his feet and grabbing his belongings. "It's not safe to walk alone." He managed to stagger over to the man, who seemed in shock at his statement. "There's dangerous people out at this time, I'll walk with you. How far away are you from your... destination?"

"N-not too long, maybe ten minutes?" Replied the shorter, looking shocked at San. 

"OK."

They walked in silence for a short while, San's unsteady gait causing the young man to slow down at times so he could catch up. The smaller seemed to be at war with himself, opening his mouth to speak several times before closing it.

"So, um," he finally said, "what were you doing outside?"

San chuckled, looking at him. "Aren't you optimistic?" He teased, causing the smaller to flush ever so slightly. "I think you know as well as I do that I'm homeless."

The young man looked down, muttering something about "not wanting to insinuate you were in case you weren't", which caused San to laugh again, dimples still showing up despite his hollow cheeks. However, he kept his eyes on the pavement, and when he caught sight of a gang member in an alleyway, he pulled at the smallers arm to cross the street.

"Wha-"

"Shhh."

When they had finally crossed the road, San simply said, "gang member, woulda been mugged."

"Dammit, I've never come back this late before and I won't again if those kinds of people are out." The other said, shivering at the thought of being mugged.

"Yeah, I recommend leaving at latest before 10pm if you need to walk the streets to get home. What were you doing anyway that made you stay out so late?"

"Ah," the man stammered, "I'm, um, I'm a trainee at KQ, the building just across the road now." A small finger pointed at the modern building, so San knew which one. "Usually I use the studio in there, but it's being refurbished so I had to use the one they hired for me down the road, at StudioCentral. I have a habit of getting absorbed in my work."

"So how long is this gonna go on for?"

"Probably about a week, maybe more. Why?"

"These gang members are out every night. You go inside and get warmed up now, and go to sleep. I'll be outside StudioCentral tomorrow, when you leave I'll walk you back again."

"I- ah you don't have to--"

"I want to. It's nice to have company that doesn't spit in your face." San smiled, getting ready to head back to his spot. "If I'm asleep just shake me and say San, I'll wake up."

"San?"

"That's my name, don't wear it out." The taller teased, smiling as the shorter raised an eyebrow at the overdone joke.

"Mine's Hongjoong."

"Coolio, Hongjoong. I'll keep an eye out for you on the advertisements."  
Before Hongjoong, who continued to look at war with himself, could say anything, San turned around, staggering back to his spot and dropping down. Taking another sip of the water, he settled down for a long night of watching the streets.

Guess he still had some faith in humanity after all.


	2. Chapter 2

True to his word, when the sun started to rise San stood up, gathering his meagre possessions and slowly heading down the street towards StudioCentral. The few people out at this time avoided him like the plague, but San kept his head down, focusing on putting one foot in front of the other. When he finally stood outside the building, he found an alley a few feet away and plonked himself next to it, knowing business owners didn't like him directly outside their property. He let himself drift off, knowing he was safest to do so now, with the morning crowd acting witness to any damage that would be inflicted upon him.

He had only slept for what felt like a few minutes when he felt a kick against his side, causing him to wheeze for a few minutes, struggling against the remnants of sleep. Something wet landed on his shins, and a slur was hurled at him by a businessman, before he continued on his merry way. San grimaced at the lingering pain, hand still clutching his poor side as he reached to get his water. He poured a tiny amount into his mouth, grimacing at the warmth, before he just sat there, absent-mindedly people-watching. After a while, he finally heard a recognizable voice.

"I swear to god, Seonghwa-hyung, he was real, I wasn't just tired!"

"I guess we'll see," replied an unfamiliar voice, one that was deeper than Hongjoong's but full of warmth. San looked down the street they were coming up, able to pick Hongjoong's mullet out from a mile away. Hongjoong in return was scanning the ground, face lighting up when he saw San.

"San!"

"Hi," he smiled, "glad you're walking at a safe time."

Hongjoong smiled at San, quickly introducing the other man to him. "This is Seonghwa, my hyung."

"Ah, another trainee?"

"How'd you know?"

"Hongjoong and I chatted last night," San shook hands with Seonghwa, his own skeletal ones being completely engulfed by the others larger ones. "I'll keep an eye out for your face on the billboards too!"

"Thanks," Seonghwa chuckled bashfully, hand scratching the back of his head.

"What time are you thinking of heading home tonight?" San directed at Hongjoong, who looked like he was a bit anxious to get inside. 

"Between 10 and 11, we're recording for debut so we need to be in as long as possible. We may have to bring Yunho in too so we can get his parts done."

"No worries," San yawned, settling down to sleep again. "Wake me up when you go and I'll walk you back, OK?"

Hongjoong nodded his agreement, and San quickly drifted back to sleep, absolutely exhausted.

He slept peacefully for once, not being awoken by kicks or hits. He actually awoke to a gentle shake, and a quiet call of his name. Blinking slowly, Hongjoong's face appeared in his sight, and he smiled sleepily. 

"Time to go?"

He staggered up to his feet, leaning heavily on the side of the building while he collected his things. A small whine escaped his mouth at the pain in his side, causing Hongjoong and Seonghwa to rush to him.

"Are you OK?" Seonghwa asked, looking like he wanted to touch him but wasn't sure if he was allowed.

"I'm fine, someone kicked me in my side today but I'll survive." He blinked in confusion, looking around. "Wasn't someone named Yunho supposed to be with you?"

"He left a few hours earlier, he had a singing lesson," Hongjoong answered, still looking concerned. "You sure you're OK?" 

"Yep," San said, popping the p as he started walking with them. "Let's get going before the big guys come out."

"Big guys?" Seonghwa asked.

"Yep, especially down here." San nodded back the way they came. "There's a pretty big gang that operates down there, and they're pretty damn ruthless. Slept in that area once when I first got to Seoul," at this statement San's hand clenched, remembering the pain of his broken fingers that had been stamped upon by a newbie to the gang. A kind doctor had helped him out, and he was mostly healed by the second week, but he still remembered the pain. "Never done it since."

"So what normally goes on at night? Shouldn't you be sleeping?" Seonghwa asked, curious as to why the skeletal teen insisted on walking them home.

San hummed at the question, answering quickly. "Usually basic muggings, not so bad if you have something to give them but if you have nothing you get beaten pretty badly. I try and warn people, but they don't tend to listen to me. Also, normally I would sleep at night, but especially in cities it's dangerous to be vulnerable at this time. By being awake I know where most of the guys hang out to ambush, so I can find a relatively safe spot, but I have to stay awake otherwise my stuff could get stolen. It's better to sleep when people are around, it generally discourages them from stealing."

All too soon the trio found themselves in front of the KQ building, and San insisted they enter.

"I don't wanna leave you out here alone," Seonghwa frowned, "you're just a kid."

"I'm 18," San chuckled, "and don't worry about me, I'll be fine." He waved as he turned around, staggering back to the safe alley and leaving Hongjoong and Seonghwa behind.

Back with Hongjoong and Seonghwa, they entered their dorm building in silence, both deep in thought. After a short argument with himself, Hongjoong looked directly at Seonghwa and said, "I want to help him, hyung."

Seonghwa sighed, smiling slightly and saying, "Me too."

The others were asleep when they entered, so they quietly moved around the room, getting ready for bed. Seonghwa slipped into the room he shared with Yeosang, while Hongjoong went into the bedroom he had to himself. He pushed the bed into the corner, imagining that the boy he had come to care for so quickly was asleep on the other end of the room. That he was warm, sheltered, safe.

"I'll help you, San-ah." He muttered to the silent room, a solemn promise to himself.

"I'll help you."


	3. Chapter 3

It had been too long since something had happened. San really should have expected something like this.

Here he was, in broad daylight, napping, when a group of teenage boys saw their prey. He was woken by a grip on his hair, and the three boys dragged him into the middle of the street, laughing all the while. 

San had been through this before. He knew what to do. He completely dissociated while the boys did their damage, vaguely registering the smell of piss and hysterical laughter coming from above him. But then, unlike before, he heard a shout.

"HEY! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"

Both San's and the boys' attention was grabbed, and a short boy with lilac hair ran up to them, followed by a taller boy with brown hair and... Hongjoong?

The boys were clearly intimidated, and cleared off after zipping their pants, leaving San collapsed in the middle of the street. 

The lilac haired boy was raging, shouting about "HOW DARE YOU!" 

"QUIET, WOOYOUNG!" Hongjoong yelled, before crouching next to San. He cringed at the injuries inflicted on him, reaching out and putting a hand on his cheek. "Oh god, what have they done to you?"

"It's not too bad," San stated simply, "Could've been much worse."

"I can't leave you here when those boys are still nearby," Hongjoong fretted. "I know you barely know me and the other two, but can you please come back to my dorm? At least to get a bath and clean the urine off, maybe something to eat."

This time it was San's turn to stutter, "I- you don't have to--"

"I want to," Hongjoong stated firmly, looking San in the eyes. San could see the honesty and worry reflected in them, so he didn't put up a fight, simply nodding his agreement to Hongjoong's happiness.

"Just for a shower and meal," he stated, "I couldn't impose any more."

"I understand," Hongjoong said, helping the homeless boy up before hugging him lightly, enough that he could pull away if he wanted to. "Thanks for letting me take care of you." The shorter whispered in his ear, and San just smiled, pulling away. 

When he made to get his stuff, though, his legs buckled under him, and he whimpered lightly. His ankle was throbbing, he realised numbly, and had probably been rolled over when he had been dragged into the street. Hongjoong managed to catch him, asking frantically what was wrong.

"My ankle..."

"Do you mind if Mingi carries you? He's the tall brunet."

"I..." San stumbled over his words, looking at the man Hongjoong pointed out. He was intimidating, tall in height and very attractive, but his face showed worry and concern.

"Okay." San whispered, still unsure but trusting Hongjoong to make sure he was ok. San couldn't place why he trusted Hongjoong so much, but the smaller made him feel cared for, and oddly enough, safe.

Hongjoong, during San's musings, called Mingi over, who dutifully squatted in front of San, allowing Hongjoong to manhandle the slim boy onto Mingi's broad back. San's arms automatically wrapped around Mingi's neck, and Mingi's hands grabbed under San's skeletal thighs. The taller stood up like San weighed nothing (which probably wasn't far from the truth), and the lilac haired man (Wooyoung) was instructed to grab San's items. He grabbed the blue bunny, the bottle of water, and the lighter San kept on him for the cold nights. 

"Anything else?" He asked, voice softer than it was before. 

"Nope."

"The lighter?" Hongjoong asked, curious.

"Even a little warmth is better than none in winter."

The walk to Hongjoong's dorm was relatively short, but joyful none-the-less. Wooyoung and Hongjoong had playful banter along the way, joking playfully with each other while including San and Mingi into the discussions. San could feel Mingi laughing from his position on his back, and couldn't help himself from smiling as well.

"Oh my god, Wooyoung, how on earth is ketchup a smoothie??"

Bright hyena laughter escaped the man's mouth, a garbled explanation being lost amidst the noise as Mingi joined in. Hongjoong, exasperated, looked at San, whose squeaky giggles made him soften slightly.

"You're an idiot," he said to Wooyoung, which sent him and the others into another round of laughter, "an absolute moron."

"You know it," Wooyoung chuckled, finger-gunning at Hongjoong as they entered the building.

Mingi climbed the stairs up to the dorm easily, although San clutched at him desperately, scared of being dropped. Once they reached the second floor, Hongjoong unlocked the dorm, and the sound of laughter hit San's ears. 

He looked around, intrigued. In front of the TV sat two boys, one tall with dark hair and the other shorter, again with dark hair. They were joking and pushing each other while playing a game of some description. San squinted slightly and made out vague images of racing carts and brightly coloured characters. Some racing game, he decided.

He turned his head to the other side, noticing Seonghwa stood in the kitchen with a smaller, quieter man. When Seonghwa made eye contact, San buried his face into Mingi's back, who just continued on his way to the bathroom. The taller man placed San carefully down on the toilet seat lid, smiling gently at him.

"You gonna be ok in here?" He asked, in a surprisingly deep voice.

"I think so," San answered, "If I need someone I'll shout."

Mingi nodded, like he was reassuring himself San would be ok, and left the room. Once the door had shut behind him, San took a minute to himself to assess what was happening. 

The man he had met two nights ago, Hongjoong, had become fond of him, and when he saw him get pissed on by a gang of teens took him to his dorm, which had 6 other men living in it, to get washed up and eat something.

God this was like something out of a novel. What's next, thought San dryly, an 8 way love story?

What nonsense. 

San slowly stood up, moving over to the bath and turning on the water, making sure it was very warm. That was one thing he had missed, he thought, having warm water to bathe in was a blessing. San relaxed into the bath once it was drawn, unaware of the chaos descending in the room he had just left.

It was only natural, really. When three people see their friend bring in a skeletal stranger, they're going to ask questions. After a brief bout of noise, Hongjoong effectively silenced them with a finger on his mouth.

"I'll explain everything, just sit down and be quiet."

Once all the friends were situated on respective couches, Hongjoong began.

"So for reasons we all know, I have to use the studio at StudioCentral. What we didn't know is that the streets are very dangerous at night, and a lot of gangs hang out there, so San, the guy Mingi carried in, walked me home the first night, and did the same the second with Seonghwa and I. Yes he's homeless, yes we know him. I didn't mean to bring him back, but, I couldn't leave him there today."

"What happened?" Asked Seonghwa, anxious.

"Three bastards dragged him into the street and pissed on him," Wooyoung seethed, Yeosang pulling him into a hug. "If I had gotten there faster I swear to god I would have hit someone."

"I couldn't leave him there." Hongjoong murmured, head in his hands. Seonghwa sighed, patting his back. 

"I know," he smiled grimly, "I'd have brought him back too. But since he's here, I'm gonna feed him."

In the silence, a small voice from the bathroom said, "Um, can I have some help please?"

"Coming, San," Hongjoong called, getting up and heading to the bathroom while Seonghwa and Mingi headed to the kitchen. Yunho and Jongho returned to their game, with Yeosang and Wooyoung watching, but it was a slightly more solemn state of affairs than it had been prior.

"Hyung," Mingi said, "San was hurt."

Seonghwa looked up from the soup he was making, making eye contact with the taller male, who looked worried. "Where?"

"His ankle, it buckled under him. That's why I had to carry him in."

"Grab the first aid kit and put it on the table, I'll help him out when he's done."

With that being said, the duo did their tasks in silence, both of their thoughts being occupied by the visitor in the dorm.

Meanwhile, in the bathroom, San was struggling to reach the shampoo bottles, or struggling to move at all really. When Hongjoong entered, San was relieved that he had answered, feeling more comfortable with the shorter.

"I can't reach the shampoo." He pouted, causing the elder to chuckle. 

"I'll help you out," he smiled, grabbing one with a strawberry scent and pouring some into his hand. He reached out and touched San's hair, watching the younger's body stiffen before relaxing. Gently, Hongjoong untangled his hair, smoothing out the knots and thoroughly applying the shampoo. San's eyes fluttered closed at the feeling, soft hums escaping his mouth. When he was done, Hongjoong rinsed off his hands in the water, before instructing San to dip his hair under the water. Hongjoong's hands made sure the suds left the dark hair, and a quick application of conditioner later, the two of them drained the bath. Hongjoong helped San get out of the bath, averting his eyes as soon as possible while San covered up.

"I'll bring you into my room," he said, "you can borrow some clothes to get changed into, and I'll pop yours into the wash."

San easily agreed, still slightly confused at how safe he felt with the smaller man, and let Hongjoong lead him to his room, whimpering with every step his injured foot took. Hongjoong left him to get dry on his bed, while he went into Yeosang's room, grabbing a pair of white sweatpants. He re entered his own room after knocking, allowing San to allow him in, and handed them to him, along with a pair of Hongjoong's own underwear and a pastel blue t shirt. San thanked him, quickly getting dressed when Hongjoong exited. He staggered his way into the living room, cringing when he felt 7 eyes on him. 4 of those eyes quickly found their way back to the TV screen, even if they were burning with curiosity, allowing San to relax a little bit.

Mingi led him to the kitchen table, where a bowl of steaming soup waited for him. There wasn't a lot, Seonghwa knew that San likely wouldn't be able to eat a lot without throwing up, simply because his stomach wasn't used to that amount of food, but the smell alone had San salivating.

"Is, is this for me?" He asked shyly, and Seonghwa nodded. "W-what about you?"

"We're having kimchi tonight," Seonghwa smiled genially, "That's all for you. Eat as much as you want, but don't make yourself sick."

Mingi helped San situate himself on the chair, and San grabbed the spoon next to the bowl, gratefully tucking into the food. It was delicious, he realised, filled with good stuff. He could taste fresh carrots, beef chunks, and peas amongst other flavours, not to mention it was hot! He had to put his spoon down, placing his hands over his eyes to keep from crying. When Seonghwa came over and sat next to him, asking what was wrong, San simply answered, "it's been too long." This seemed to be enough of an answer for the elder, who rubbed his back gently and whispered soothing words into his ear. When San had sufficiently calmed down (although a tear or two had escaped), he continued eating, still slightly overwhelmed. He managed to finish most of the meat and vegetables, leaving a bit of the broth. When he finally pushed the mostly empty bowl away, Mingi took it and started washing it up, leaving San and Seonghwa alone in the kitchen. 

"Mingi said your ankle was hurt," Seonghwa gently said, "Mind if I take a look at it?"

San didn't mind, but the noise was starting to get to him. He had never been surrounded by this much noise, and he bit his lip.

"N, not here."

Seonghwa smiled again, grabbing the kit and helping San back into Hongjoong's bedroom. He let him down onto the bed, and asked which one was hurt. San answered by lifting his right foot into Seonghwa's waiting lap. Cold fingers poked around his ankle, San holding in his whimpers, and Seonghwa quickly determined it was a sprain. He warned San to be careful with it, and that it would be best if he didn't walk on it. 

San, for what it was worth, was starting to become exceedingly sleepy. The safe feeling of the room, coupled with the calming and protective presence of Seonghwa, was quickly lulling him to sleep. When Seonghwa asked another question, the younger just hummed, causing the eldest to chuckle as he realised what was happening.

"You tired San-ah?"

San opened an eye, and looked at the man, "San-ah?"

"You're 18, I'm 19."

San grunted in acceptance, "how old are the rest of you?"

Seonghwa gestured for San to squish to the side, which he did, and the elder pulled his face into his lap, playing with the dark locks. 

"I'm 19, the oldest, and Hongjoong is a few months younger than me, but still 19. Yunho, the tall dark haired one playing Mario Kart, Yeosang, the smaller one who I was talking to in the kitchen, Mingi, Wooyoung and yourself are all 18, and where you stand amongst them depends on the day."

"July 10th," came a sleepy answer.

"Ah, right in the middle then. Slightly older than Mingi and Wooyoung but slightly younger than Yunho and Yeosang. Jongho's our maknae, he was the other one playing Mario Kart, 17 years old."

Seonghwa continued to play with the younger's hair, until he fell asleep in his lap, too exhausted with the happenings of the day to even try and stay awake, and it was then that Seonghwa let his tears fall.

San was incredibly sweet and nice, despite seemingly being dealt the worst hand the world has to offer. Seonghwa wanted to help, he did, he just didn't know how. He prayed to any deity out there that San would provide him with something he could use to look after him, just, anything.

But until then, if being San's pillow for a nap was all he could do, he would gladly do it.


	4. Chapter 4

San blinked awake a mere 2 hours after he initially drifted off, with Seonghwa still above him.

"Hey," the elder whispered gently, hands still playing with the soft hair, "you fell asleep and I didn't have the heart to wake you."

Still half asleep, the younger blinked blearily back at him, hand coming up to his mouth as he yawned. "What time is it?"

"Roughly 5pm," Seonghwa answered, grabbing his phone to confirm that it was 5:15pm. "It will be dinner time shortly."

San smiled sleepily as Seonghwa fretted about what to make for dinner, the older mans hands still stroking his hair softly. The soft sensation was constant and soothing, not to mention something he had never felt before, and he couldn't get enough of it. His eyes drifted back closed, but he wasn't asleep, he was simply enjoying being warm and safe. Thus, when Seonghwa pulled his hand out of his hair, San's hand flew up to stop him, an unintentional whine slipping out of his mouth.

"Oh," Seonghwa whispered, endeared, "ok." The elder continued playing gently with the younger's hair, braiding and twisting and brushing thousands of times while a happy smile was present on the younger's face. "You enjoying this?"

"Feels nice," said the smaller, a light flush on his face. 

"I'll bet," Seonghwa chuckled, hand slipping down to boop San's nose gently before returning to his ministrations. The younger had jumped slightly at the unexpected sensation, but realised what the elder had done, causing him to laugh slightly.

A faint melody rode it's way in through the door while the duo were contently chilling, the chorus of Playing With Fire by BLACKPINK if Seonghwa's memory served correctly. San also perked up slightly in his lap.

"I know this song, it plays quite frequently on the streets."

"Yeah?" Seonghwa said, curious. To answer, San nodded vigorously, "but I don't know all the lyrics."

Instead of answering, Seonghwa started singing along to the song, San joining in a fraction of a second later. Even if the younger kept falling into fits of squeaky giggles when he couldn't remember the words, Seonghwa couldn't help but be impressed by the younger's vocal prowess.

"How can you sing so well without training?" He playfully grumbled, booping the younger's nose again to show that he was playing. "You could probably waltz into this company without a single problem."

"What do you mean?" San asked, confused. "How do you even get in a company?"

"There's an audition, usually, or you catch the attention to someone who vouches for you. And then you perform, either singing, dancing or rapping although you can show more than one, and then they take you and train you for free, believe it or not. You're under contract, but all that says is you'll train under them for a certain amount of years and in return they'll provide you with shelter, a budget for food and the lessons to improve. It's not a bad deal actually." Seonghwa said to the younger, who looked interested.

"Wait, so they give you shelter and money for food without... wanting anything other than you to practice? Isn't that... not exactly in their favour?"

"It depends on the company." Seonghwa said, "KQ has only a few, I think 20 in general. They're actually planning on debuting a group soon, that's why the seven of us live together. But they do have a problem at the minute, they're looking for another strong vocalist to join. Only Jongho has excessively powerful vocals and it's a bit much to ask of him," Seonghwa trailed off, thinking. "You know, I was joking when I said you could waltz in without a problem... but I think you actually have the kind of voice they're looking for at the minute."

"Really?" 

"Yeah, you might not know it but from listening to you, I can tell you have the right vocal colour. I can tell because they've been trying to push Yunho and myself into that sound, and we can do it to some extent but it's hard to maintain."

San looked a bit overwhelmed, and Seonghwa quickly said, "Not that you have to, it's completely up to you."

"I, it's something to think about." San said slowly, before double checking, "they really don't want anything else?"

"Nothing, I've been a trainee for 2 years now and that's all I've done. Hongjoong was a trainee for 3 years, the longest of all of us, and that's all he's ever done."

San hummed absentmindedly, head clearly occupied by the scenario presented to him.

"Tell you what," Seonghwa decided, nudging San's head off his lap and standing up. "You think over that in here while I make dinner for the others, just relax, maybe see if you can get some more sleep. You're not hungry are you?"

"No," the younger replied, stomach still full from the soup, "I'll sleep on it. Wake me up when you're done?"

"Sure thing," Seonghwa said, "Oh and San? Don't feel pressured to make a decision quickly, we're not debuting anytime soon." Sending a last reassuring smile to the skeletal figure, he closed the door only to stare at the wall in front of him.

Because holy shit San could sing.

He wandered into the kitchen like he was in a trance, quickly catching the attention of everyone, who had been waiting for him to start the food.

"What's up?" Asked Hongjoong, concerned at how his only hyung was acting.

"Did you know that San can sing?"

"I, no. Is he good?"

The eldest sputtered out a laugh, saying, "He's got the exact vocal tone they're trying to force Yunho and I into."

Silence reigned in the living room, as everyone tried to absorb the information.

"Did you tell him?" Hongjoong asked again, the only one who seemed to be able to form any words. 

"Yeah, seemed interested in the company. Told him not to rush his decision though, but if he takes up the offer,"

"Not only will he definitely get in, he'll be placed with us from the get-go," Yunho completed the statement. "That's good though right? I mean you guys are fond of him already, and he seems nice enough?"

"No yeah, that part's fine," Seonghwa said, looking at Hongjoong, who returned his gaze.

"I don't mind waiting a little bit more to debut if it means we get to keep San with us."

All 7 in the room sighed in relief, and Seonghwa stood up. "Don't expect a decision soon, it's not something he can take lightly, but let's hope for the best. Yunho, you help me with dinner, the rest can do whatever you want."

"Hyung," Yeosang spoke up before they could adjourn, "is he, you know, good?"

Seonghwa sighed, looking him straight in the eye, "His technique lacks, but his voice itself is phenomenal. It won't take much for him to sing professionally."

"But what about dancing?" Wooyoung worried, "He's very skinny and weak, that's not gonna translate well..."

"He'll have to gain weight before we can even look at getting him in a dance studio," Seonghwa said firmly, before shutting down any other questions by heading over to the stove.

The others returned back to the living area, chatting excitedly around the TV about the potential in gaining a new member. 

Meanwhile, in Hongjoong's bedroom, San had yet to drift off, still thinking about what Seonghwa had said.

It was enticing, to be sure. To finally get away from the life he had led, and to be with people he knew and felt safe around? It seemed too good to be true, but from what Seonghwa had said, it was true. And what was a few years of his life anyway? A few years for him to get back on his feet, even if he didn't debut with the others? He could do that.

To be contracted to some felt like signing yourself into servitude, he knew, but for San who had nothing, it sounded like a way out.

His mind made up, he snuggled down, pulling the quilt over him and revelling in the warmth it provided. He'd ask Seonghwa about it more when he came to wake him up. Within five minutes, he had drifted to sleep, mind focused on one thing only.

'If they let me in, I will have to give everything my all. I cannot let them down."


	5. Chapter 5

"Hey," Seonghwa whispered as he entered Hongjoong's room, unsure of if San was awake. "You up?"

A sleepy hum came from the darkness, causing Seonghwa to chuckle lightly, easily making his way to the limp body on the bed. "Sorry, did I wake you?"

"s fine," San murmured, blinking blearily up at the man. "Wha time ssit?" 

"7pm." The elder helped the skinny boy to sit upright, arm supporting his back as the smaller yawned.

"I wanna do it."

"Sorry, what?"

"Wanna join the company."

Seonghwa stammered over his words a little bit, before getting out, "You sure? You've got the talent but it's a big decision-"

"Am sure. What do I have to lose?"

When the elder looked into San's eyes and saw determination and dedication, he relaxed, a large grin immediately taking over his face. "Ok," he smiled, causing the smaller to smile back sleepily. "Ok I'll see if I can get something sorted."

"You guys going to bed soon?" 

"Won't be too long, but you can relax with the rest of us for now. Are you ok to sleep here tonight? I don't want to send you back out there."

"I could take a couch."

Not wanting to push, Seonghwa merely nodded his assent.

"Can I sit with the rest of you though? I kind of like it."

"Of course," Seonghwa stated, getting up, "and I can't blame you. The energy those kids possess is infectious."

San nodded, agreeing to Seonghwa's statement as the elder supported him on his way to the living room. 

"Is it ok if I ditch you with Wooyoung?" 

"Sure, I'll just sit on the opposite end."

The lilac haired man, noticing the duo, quickly removed his legs from the other side of the couch he was on, clearing the space for Seonghwa to deposit San. San's attention was immediately drawn to the game Yunho, Mingi, Yeosang and Jongho were playing, as it was bright, colourful and loud. He leant towards the smaller male, quietly asking "What are they playing?"

"Mario Kart," answered the younger, inching closer to the slim male, "have you never played?"

"No," answered San, entranced, "What is it about?"

While Wooyoung explained the ins and outs of Mario Kart to San, Seonghwa quickly made his way to Hongjoong, pulling him into the kitchen.

"He wants to audition!" He whispered excitedly, causing Hongjoong to grin maniacally.

"Yes! Shall I see if I can organise an audition for him?"

"Please, but let the CEO and trainers know of his situation," Seonghwa said lowly, "obviously he can't wear anything nice, and he's not gonna be able to dance until he's on the road to recovery. I've persuaded him to stay here, but he only says he will take the couch, so at least he can shower and borrow some clothes for tomorrow, but it'll all look sloppy because they're just too big."

"Got ya," Hongjoong whispered back, "I'll see if I can get EDEN on the panel too, that way he sort of knows San's vocal abilities so he can write for him."

"Sounds like a plan."

Looking back at the younger man, Seonghwa's heart stuttered a beat. San had a wide smile on his face as he was watching the Mario Kart tournament, deep dimples showing up despite his hollowed cheeks as he squeaked with laughter. Wooyoung's telltale hyena laughter wasn't far behind, along with Yunho cursing dramatically while Yeosang and Jongho teased him for being off the scoreboard. Mingi was surprisingly quiet, but quickly joined in the playful banter. It was a cute sight, and San fit in there. 

"Is it just me or,,, did you feel that something was missing beforehand?"

Hongjoong sighed, looking at the rambunctious younger members. 

"Yeah. He fits right in, huh?"

Meanwhile, on the couch, San had become thoroughly absorbed by the game the others were playing, learning quickly how it's done. He was drawn out of his reverie by Wooyoung, who had shifted the blanket on his knees until it covered San's own.

"You having fun there?" He asked teasingly, causing San to grin back. 

"It's an interesting game," he playfully defended, "plus you're all yelling. It's amusing."

"I know," the younger relented, moving closer to the slender male. "It's a nightly thing though, you get used to it after a while."

"Really? I can't imagine it, although, wait, no actually I can." San stumbled over his words, initially being confused at the quick adaptation before remembering how quick he adjusted to being homeless. Yeah no, he could see it.

Wooyoung looked a little concerned, but turned his gaze respectfully back to the TV screen, yelling in excitement when Yunho booted Yeosang off Rainbow Road. His attention was quickly diverted by a ding from his phone tho, and he looked down in confusion before grinning madly. Unlocking his phone, he was typing something and, curious, San looked over.

On the screen was a photo of a small boy, probably around 7-8 years old, grinning toothily up at the camera with two fistfuls of sand. He had a little sand around his mouth, and was wearing small blue shorts, probably swimshorts. Behind the boy you could catch the waves of the sea, and a large sandcastle was in front of the boy. He looked happy, very happy.

San realised with a pang of sadness that this was what he had missed in his childhood, these firsts that were usually so joyous. He resolved himself to take every opportunity he came across when he got back on his feet, so that he'd be able to do these things. Swallowing slightly, he asked Wooyoung, "Who's this?"

"My little brother, Jaehyun." Wooyoung looked fondly at his phone screen, "He's seven, they took him to the beach for the first time today."

"I can tell," San chuckled sadly, "That's one helluva sandcastle. I assume you live quite far away from the beach and that's why it's so late in his life?*

"Yeah, he enjoyed himself a lot." Wooyoung shut off his phone after another glance, before looking at San. "What about you? Any siblings?"

San smiled sadly again, "Nope, just me and dad." Under his breath he added, "And I guess I should be glad about that." 

Again Wooyoung looked at him with concern, before masking his expression as he talked about how his parents were adopting a dog. San let the younger males voice soothe him to sleep as he thought.

Yeah, he realised, he could get used to this.

Wooyoung, on the other hand, continued talking until he felt the slim boys head fall onto his shoulder. His sudden silence made the others look at him, noticing his problem.

"Oh," the shorter whispered, "oh ok." 

He gently pulled the boys body down until it was laid over his lap, Yunho helping by pushing his shins up onto the soft couch. Wooyoung tucked him in with the fluffy blanket they had been sharing, pulling it right up to the neck as the older boy shivered a little bit. His hands defaulted to the tallers hair, and he started stroking and playing with it, as the others around him decided to pack up the game out of fear of waking him.

As the remaining 4 went to bed, Seonghwa and Hongjoong helped Wooyoung extract himself from under the boy, who in turn grabbed the blue bunny from where it had been sitting on the table and tucking it into the slender man's arms. His arms automatically gripped the bunny, pulling it close to his chest as he snuffled his nose into the dirty blue fluff. 

Satisfied, Wooyoung went to bed himself, and as he climbed into bed, he wondered to himself how San had managed to worm himself into his heart so fast.


	6. Chapter 6

San nervously stood outside of the brown door. A slab of wood had never been so terrifying to him in his life. He was leaning heavily on Hongjoong, who had volunteered to take him to the audition since he had set it up.

It was midday, and San had washed and cleaned himself while Yeosang had provided him with clothes that kind of fitted him. The sweatpants had to be pulled to maximum tightness and the blue t shirt fell off a skinny shoulder, but it was better than his tattered jeans and ratty shirt. He even had socks on, not shoes though, as the skeletal feet didn't fit any of the members shoes. 

Hongjoong had helped him limp up the stairs to the audition room, reassuring him all the while that he would be fine, but now that San was in front of the doors he wasn't so sure. Of course, he trusted Hongjoong, but the idea that he could be rejected...

San didn't know if he would be able to take a rejection.

He gripped the papers Hongjoong had made him sign til his knuckles turned white, and he was trembling slightly. Hongjoong looked concerned, and whispered, "are you ok?"

"Nervous."

"You'll be fine, I promise. I'll be with you the entire way."

San took a deep breath to steel himself, and opened up the door, bowing (with Hongjoong's help) at the four judges behind the door.

Now, each judge had been briefed beforehand on what to expect when San walked into the room, but none of them had been prepared for the sight of the skeletal figure, leaning on a smaller male, who limped into a room and still tried to bow. It was enough to tug at the heartstrings, a sob story that didn't need to be told. They politely bowed back, allowing Hongjoong to direct San to a chair that had been set out for him.

EDEN couldn't quite believe the sight in front of him. It was a pitiful one, he thought as he watched San pretty much collapse when Hongjoong released him over the chair. He looked down at his sheet, noticing that he had been given the responsibility of interviewing the candidate, and he cleared his throat, plastering a (slightly worried) smile on his face.

"Hi, San is it?"

"Yes, Choi San, it's nice to meet you Mr?"

"EDEN, and these are my fellow judges Kang Eunbi, Park Soyeon and Kim Jinyoung."

San had listened intently, half-bowing every time he was introduced. He wanted, no, NEEDED to make a good impression, otherwise it would be back to the streets for him.

"A pleasure to meet you," he smiled sweetly, charming dimples on display.

"Likewise," EDEN reciprocated with a grin. 

The interview proceeded quite smoothly from there, although Jinyoung (the dance instructor) found himself looking at the younger's figure and grimacing, wondering how on earth he was going to be able to dance like that. San answered every question honestly and politely, asking questions where appropriate and nodding during explanations to show he got it. EDEN couldn't have asked for an easier candidate to interview, but even though the interview itself was pleasant, he was burning to get the younger boy to sing. What had so thoroughly impressed his protégé with his voice? He had to know. He hated to say it, but he may have actually rushed the interview to hit the vocals.

San had decided to sing a song that meant a lot to him, the one that had played at his mother's funeral. It was called No One But You (Only The Good Die Young), which had been sung by the remaining members of Queen to honour Freddie Mercury after he passed. It had been played at his mother's funeral, who had died when San had reached the tender age of nine. He figured he would either succeed with this song, or go down with this song. So he took a deep breath and started singing, pouring every emotion he could into the lyrics.

The raw emotion in the words was astounding. While the technique would require work, the sheer passion and ability to incorporate those emotions was extremely impressive, enough to make anyone tear up. In fact, Hongjoong thought, wiping his eyes, in some cases it could probably even make people cry.

The judges were undoubtedly impressed, with the vocal teacher silently rejoicing at the fact that she finally had someone with the strength needed to fill out the group. She couldn't stop grinning, and clapped loudly as San finished. 

After an extremely short discussion, EDEN turned to the man with a grin. "Welcome to the company and ATEEZ Choi San, we'll have a bed put in the dorm for you ASAP."

The remainder of the meeting was a blur for the younger male, who felt almost like he was in a dream. He only snapped out of it when Hongjoong helped him outside the room, tears of happiness streaming down his face as his knees buckled. The duo fell to the floor, with the elder pulling the slim boy into a full body hug, stroking his back and telling him how well he did.

"You're with us now," he murmured as the younger drifted into sleep, "we'll protect you."

The shorter had to text Yunho to get San back to the dorm, texting Seonghwa and the others to tell them the good news. He then sent a text to his CEO, one heavily planned out hours before.

CEO-nim

As I'm sure you know, the new member of our group (Choi San) was homeless prior to entering your company.

Consequently, he is far from in good condition. He has very few possessions, and will likely require extensive physical therapy to gain enough weight to be considered healthy.

As he has formed an attachment to us, I would like to ask whether we can do two things. 

1) Would you allow us to take him on a shopping trip? San will require clothing and shoes among other possessions, which will unfortunately require a lot more money than we currently possess. This also discounts his need for a hairdressing appointment and probably some skincare appointments too.

2) Would you allow our training schedules to be relaxed a little bit while we help San become fully functional? Just enough so that one member or more would be able to be with him at all times? It won't be easy for him to adjust, so we thought it was worth asking.

Thank you for taking this into consideration,

Yours Sincerely,

Kim Hongjoong

Yunho had arrived by the time Hongjoong had sent the text, and the elder helped settle the sleeping smaller into the tallers arms. The duo set off back to their dorm, Yunho chatting excitedly all the way. Hongjoong just smiled at the youngers enthusiasm, grinning wider when his phone buzzed and he found the CEO agreeing to each point. He interrupted Yunho to say, "Pick a day."

"A day for what?"

"To spoil San with stuff."

After Yunho nearly dropping and waking San, before reaching the dorm, settling San in Hongjoong's bed and telling the others, the 7 finally decided on going the day after the next. Hongjoong just smiled as chaos descended around him, sipping at his newly made tea.

He was happy San had made it in, not that he ever doubted he would.


	7. Chapter 7

When San awoke, his head was comfortably nestled in Seonghwa's neck, who was holding him in bed. He blinked blearily up at the older male, who smiled down at him.

"Sleep well?" He murmured, stroking the dark hair. "You had a nightmare, hence why I'm here."

A small blush stained San's cheeks but he didn't move away, instead snuggling into Seonghwa even further. 

"Yeah," he murmured shyly, "I slept ok. Did you hear the news?"

"Of course I did," Seonghwa beamed, "We're ecstatic! Your bed has already arrived, we've put it in with Hongjoong if that's ok?"

"That's amazing," San smiled, "You didn't have to. I could have taken the couch."

"No way in hell were you taking the couch." Seonghwa frowned, drawing San into his chest even further. "You're a trainee now. Sleeping on couches will be bad for your back."

"What is it like?" The younger asked suddenly, head jolting up to look at Seonghwa. "What should I expect?"

Seonghwa's brow creased slightly as he thought about the question. "Well, it's going to be a bit different for you from the start, obviously. You're significantly underweight," he punctuated this with a poke to San's tummy, causing the younger to squirm with a little laugh. The elder grinned, returning to his train of thought, "so that's going to need to be corrected. You'll probably go to vocal lessons after a week or two of rest, as we need you to start on a path to recovery. Dance lessons, I'm sure they won't start until you're at a healthy BMI."

"Well that's useless," San chimed in, "I'm naturally skinny so I always fall into the low BMI category. I don't normally go beyond 50kg, so that's probably going to be where I should start otherwise you'll be waiting forever."

Seonghwa smiled, "Well, ok then. Out of interest, how much do you think you weigh right now?"

San pouted as he thought about the question, brow furrowed in concentration. "Probably 30kg? Max. I can't say for sure."

The elders heart sank, and he nuzzled his face into the shaggy black hair. He stroked a hand through the locks, unable to even speak.

"Do you think you could eat? We need to get you on a semi regular schedule so your body can recognise when to eat."

"It'd probably be worth me snacking morning and evening, while having an actual meal at lunch. It should get me used to regular times and would probably help."

"We'll consult a dietician." Seonghwa decided, "But for now we'll do that."  
He pulled San out of bed, making him put on Seonghwa's own slippers to make sure he wasn't cold. 

"What do you want?" He said as he led him to the kitchen, the others on the couch watching Hello Counselor. "We have fruit, nuts, chocolate but I wouldn't recommend that as breakfast, cereal..."

"Can I have some fruit, please?"  
The elder nodded, quickly slicing some different ones up and throwing them into a small bowl. "You can snack on this throughout the morning, I've thrown some bananas, strawberries, grapes, apples and blackberries into this for you."

"Thank you," San grinned, popping a blackberry into his mouth and closing his eyes as the fresh flavour exploded on his tongue. "I forgot how much I loved berries."

Seonghwa patted his head fondly, watching as he savoured the fruit before going to sit with Hongjoong. Hongjoong moved over on the couch to give Seonghwa some room, before murmuring, "how's he doing?" to the older.

"Ok," the taller murmured back, "He's probably still going to need help with most things for a bit of time, and we definitely need to consult a dietician, but he seems to be getting on ok."

Hongjoong nodded, leaning onto the elders shoulder with a sad sigh. "It's a shame this had to happen to him, he's such a lovely boy."

Seonghwa merely nodded, feeling his heart clench once again. No one deserved what San had been through, that was true, but the fact that it had happened to someone as sweet as San himself... Seonghwa had never loathed the universe as much as he did in that moment.

"Hey," he murmured to Hongjoong, poking his cheek playfully, "Cheer up, he's with us now. We'll take care of him."

"He's gonna be fragile," Hongjoong worried, "and what will the trainees say?"

"We'll cross that bridge when it comes to it." Seonghwa said decisively, "We may not even have to worry."

Hongjoong sighed again, before standing up. 

"Right everyone, it's a chill day today so do whatever you want, but remember that tomorrow you have to be dressed and ready for 8am. We're off shopping!"

Hongjoong made his way over to San as the others fell into a chaotic mess, grinning at him as he pulled himself up on the counter. "The CEO's given us some money to buy clothes and stuff for you, he seems quite fond of you already you know?"

"Really," San asked, still picking slowly at his fruit salad, "He hasn't even met me?"

"Apparently he saw you and I heading in," Hongjoong leant forward, stealing a strawberry half, "Apparently you remind him of his son, according to EDEN."

San faked an offended expression at Hongjoong's stolen strawberry half, before grinning. "Oh that's going to be awkward, I can already tell."

Hongjoong laughed brightly, sitting further back on the counter and swinging his legs. "Nah, our CEO's not awkward at all, he's super nice but knows how to avoid weird subjects. Anyway, what kind of clothing do you want to get tomorrow? Not to mention shoes, and don't try to say you don't need any mister you have one set!"

San laughed shyly, scratching the back of his neck as he set the salad down, full. "Probably just something warm for the minute. So like, jumpers and jeans. And I'll probably stick to trainers for the minute with shoes."

Hongjoong acknowledged San's thoughts with a nod, before interjecting. "Don't forget, you'll need sleepwear, practice wear and at least one set of formal clothing. Also you'll want some things to decorate your half of the room with."

"All that?" San shrunk into himself, "That's going to cost a lot."

"Don't worry about it," Hongjoong laughed, "Our CEO is loaded, it'll barely make a dent."

The younger still looked unsure, so Hongjoong reached forward and tousled his hair playfully, pushing it into his eyes. "Cheer up kiddo, it's fine I promise. Now you and I need to get presentable, you've got an appointment with our hairstylist and makeup artist so we can make sure your skin stays in tip top condition and tame this mane of yours!"

San allowed Hongjoong to push some of Yeosang's clothing into his hands, getting dressed quickly. Again, he couldn't wear any shoes much to his chagrin, but they didn't even have to exit the building so he didn't really consider it a major travesty. 

Hongjoong helped him towards the stylist area, where he met the duo with a polite smile and attempt at a bow.

"Hi! I'm Choi San, it's nice to meet you!" 

"Nice to meet you, San-ah, I'm Song Hyejin and the hairstylist is Kim Jihyo. Jihyo's going to cut your hair while I figure out a skin routine, is that ok?"

With a nod, San let them get to work, Jihyo skilfully and quickly cutting down his hair until it ended at quite a flattering style. Hyejin, on the other hand, touched his face quite a lot, muttering to herself about what his skin felt like and a list of products off the top of her head. By the time their appointment was done, San felt thoroughly peopled out, and Hongjoong was lugging a bag of skincare products for San's new "regime."

"Tired of people?" The elder asked knowingly, "Wanna take a nap when you get back?"

"Please," San murmured, happy Hongjoong had picked up on his current mood. They carried on in comfortable silence until they reached the dorm, and Hongjoong helped him to his new bed.

"That bed is all yours," He smiled, helping San take his socks off. Since he was wearing comfy clothing already he didn't bother making him change, simply helping him slip below the blankets and tucking him in a little bit. "I'll wake you up in about 2 hours for lunch if that's ok?"

A sleepy "ok" echoed behind him, and Hongjoong grinned as he shut the door.

"Hey Hongjoong," Seonghwa called, "We're going to make chicken and rice for lunch, is that ok?"

"Sure!"


	8. San's Room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a bit of fluff and filler to help me get back into writing.
> 
> For those who don't know I've had a rough last few months, and a lot of stuff just went wrong so I haven't been able to write very well and lost my swing. I promise I'll do more substantial plot stuff in a little bit 😅
> 
> Thanks for understanding!

Staggering back from the car with arms full of bags, 7 of the boys were really glad to get back to the dorm. San was the only one not carrying any bags, as they felt like he could collapse as soon as they gave him a single bag, so with his unsteady gait and a soft pillow in his arms he went ahead of the group to open the doors.

As the other boys ditched their bags in the living room, flopping on couches and starting up another game of Mario Kart, Seonghwa and Hongjoong started ferrying the bags to San's half of the room. San started unpacking them slowly, unsure of where to put things, so Hongjoong helped him organise what he had and set it going. By the time the duo were done, it was like the room had never been a single room, both sides having a stark difference.

Despite the plain cream walls and carpet, neither member had limited themselves to certain colours. Hongjoong's side was more aesthetic and monochrome, with the occasional burst of colour. His grey sheets were rather plain, any personal items placed neatly on shelves. Usually his mess came from clothing, as he rarely stayed in his room, so most of it was neat and clean except for the occasional pile of clothing.

San's side of the room, however, was like an explosion of pastels. His sheets were a soft blue colour, with a patchwork quilt resting on the top. He had a dozen colourful cushions and pillows resting on top of the bed in a haphazard pile, and about a thousand plushies. The younger had fallen in love with them in a charity shop, and no one could say no to him, so nearly every plushie in the bin was bought. As the younger man sat on the bed, holding a particular shiba inu plushie he developed a major attachment too, Hongjoong realised he finally looked like, well, like SAN.

Buying San clothing and shoes had been an experience, for sure, with the boy constantly getting overwhelmed by the amounts of people and high prices. However, it was worth it to see San curled up on his own bed, wearing a pink fluffy jumper and soft white sweatpants. He had a pair of white slippers on too, and it just suited the boy's delicate features so well that Hongjoong felt like it just looked right. He grinned happily, sitting down next to San and hugging him.

"How do you feel?"

"Good," San smiled in return, gaze fully focused on the plush dog in his hands. "Warm... Cosy... Its nice." He leant his head on the elders shoulder gratefully, content and at peace.

"I'll bet," Hongjoong chuckled in return, stroking San's hair gently and smoothing some of the longer strands behind his ears. "I'm really glad you auditioned..."

The younger man hummed, nuzzling in like he was asking for more strokes. Hongjoong giggled, finding the action quite cat-like but obliging, feeling brave enough to press a gentle kiss to the boys head.

As the boy seemed to drift off to sleep, probably exhausted from the days events, Hongjoong laid him down on his bed and draped one of the several blankets they bought over him. Tucking him in carefully, he smiled as San sighed happily, stroking his cheekbone with his thumb before leaving the room and switching the light off.

He couldn't wait until San was healthy enough to start training.


	9. Trainee Troubles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> San starts training!
> 
> Tw // bullying
> 
> There is a character who bullies San a little bit. It's not a long scene, but you can stop reading when it says 'a loud voice' if it makes you uncomfortable.

After a few months, San had managed to pull himself together. He was eating regularly, and eating good portion sizes at that, managing to eat similar amounts as Jongho and Wooyoung in single sittings. He was no longer overwhelmed by food, his skin was getting to a good point, and he was happy and healthy.

So naturally, training started.

Of course, San wasn't healed by any definition of the word. He was still too skinny, not as scarily skinny but skinny enough to cause concern. He still looked like the wind could blow him over, and got sick easy because of nutrient deficiencies. However, he wanted to train, and the group knew he wasn't going to give up nagging them until they let him.

They started slow, with vocal lessons and small work out sessions. He had to start with the basics, and with vocal lessons San soared ahead, the techniques and talent he was being taught coming naturally. He put in 100% from the beginning, going from 1 to 1 lessons to group sessions with the other vocalists in the group in a matter of weeks. Hongjoong was surprised, but pleasantly so.

Work out sessions were a little harder, as San's muscles had deteriorated to practically nothing. The personal trainer the company had hired had to start from ground zero, getting him to walk comfortably first and foremost. After that, they started with some absolute basics. Holding his arms above his head, stepping up and down the stairs several times in a row, holding stretches-- anything that got up his heart rate and helped him develop the muscles he had lost. San whined at first, saying these were daily things he did anyway, but upon seeing his stamina improve already from doing these little things, he soon put the same amount of effort into them as he did his vocal training. Soon enough, it wasn't uncommon to see San walking up and down steps, or up and down onto a stool Seonghwa had in the kitchen.

After a few months, he managed to progress to the point where he could run, jump and spin without getting tired quickly, and so Jongho and Wooyoung started to let him tag along with the gym. The trainer kept a solid eye on the weak man, letting him attempt certain things but controlling what he tried if he felt he wasn't ready. His job was to get this man healthy, THEN fit, and he wasn't about to fail now when he'd already come so far.

Again, a few months after that, San was a normal weight for him. The trainer had foregone any kind of weightlifting, wanting to work on his stamina and core strength first so that the boy could get to training as quick as possible. San could hold his own weight, and that was good enough for now.

It was amazing how far the boy had come, Seonghwa had to think. They had taken weekly photos, pinning them onto the fridge to show San his progress from weak and emaciated to almost normal. His stomach filled out, his ribs could be seen but not to an unhealthy extent. His cheeks got squishier, making those dimples stand out even more, and as he got healthier he seemed to get happier, with sparkling eyes and an easy smile. Looking at the first photo of San they had taken (where he had to lean heavily on Mingi), you couldn't recognise the boy.

Seonghwa looked at the kid, who was playing Dragon Quest XI on his Switch (gifted to him by the CEO as a reward for finally starting training). He was smiling and laughing as Jongho pointed out something to do with the game, such a far cry from what they had dealt with earlier. Seonghwa was almost nervous for him to start dance practice...

Oh yes, you heard him right. San had to start dance practice with the other trainees the next week, as he was finally deemed fit enough to give it a go. He was under explicit instructions to not push too hard or too far, but Seonghwa was still nervous. What if he hurt himself? What if he accidentally pushed past his limit? He bit his lip nervously.

The saving grace was that the CEO allowed Wooyoung and Yunho to go into the lower classes with San. This was to not only help San progress faster than the others, but also to make sure he had a familiar face. Plus, since they were further ahead in their instruction, the others could use this time to play catch up, until San was at a high enough level to join them in their private practices.

However, it would be the first time San was out of Seonghwa's sight when doing physical exercise, and Seonghwa didn't like that one bit.

Shaking his head, the eldest finished chopping up the strawberries he had on the kitchen counter, placing them in a little bowl and taking it to San and Jongho. The elder of the two looked up with a grin, opening his mouth for Seonghwa to put one of the strawberry halves in. The older rolled his eyes fondly, but obliged, doing the same for Jongho before placing the bowl next to them.

"Spoiled," He murmured playfully, walking away like he didn't hear San's giggle and Jongho's 'It's your fault!' echoing behind him.

San would be fine, Seonghwa thought to himself, he had Wooyoung and Yunho to help. He would be OK...

***

When San stood outside the practice room with his two companions, he felt... Well... Nervous for one, he definitely felt nervous. Also probably a little scared, he had to admit to himself.

When Yunho opened the door he kept his head down, greeting the teacher like Yunho and Wooyoung did before placing the stuff he had brought with him on the ground. They were early, of course they were. San had never danced before, so the teacher had them bring him in beforehand to assess where he was at.

The three had done some basic tests at home, having him clap along to beats to make sure he had a sense of rhythm and then having him stamp along. They did this clapping game for a while, switching rhythms but sticking to the same time signature so that San got a feel for what it would be like. They had even done some goofy party dances to make sure San could keep time and basic movements. Macarena, Cha Cha Slide, Saturday Night... Hell, the whole group had gotten involved for a Just Dance marathon, with Ghostbusters, This is Halloween and Time Warp being the most popular choices (although Mingi would argue that Timber and Let It Go were the best out of the ones they'd done). San was good at that, he was! He could find a rhythm in a melody easy, and dance basic moves on time. It wasn't the timing he was concerned about. 

It was the techniques San was worried about.

Oddly enough, like the trio had anticipated it, the teacher started with basic moves and rhythms to establish that San could do timing. Yep, no problem, they skipped right past that.

He then moved them onto some basic techniques, just so San was doing things that he hadn't tried before. San, as per usual, put 100% into following his directions, learning quickly and keeping up, to his surprise.

Soon enough, there was ten minutes until the existing trainees joined, so Yunho and Wooyoung pulled San to the side. The teacher had shown them the basic routine that the trainees were going through prior to this, so they were going to watch and observe before teaching San the tricks and tips to do things correctly. The issue is, since San was in the line up, he didn't have the time to go through these techniques slowly. He had to learn stage presence, rhythm and techniques at the same time, so having two helpers would be important, especially since they knew how San's brain worked and helped. Both of the dancers had barely broken a sweat in their warmup, while San was noticeably a bit out of breath, so they pulled him to sit. Yunho handed him a water bottle, while Wooyoung chatted quietly to San, explaining what they were going to do.

San nodded, still nervous about the trainees that were going to be walking in. Of course they were going to be ahead of him, he expected that, but he almost wished he could have done one to one lessons first. Just so that he knew he wouldn't be judged... However, he shoved that thought away, leaning his head on Yunho's shoulder and letting the man water him until he felt he was hydrated enough.

He was lucky to be here anyway, who was he to complain?

Soon enough, the trainees trickled in. One by one, greeting their teacher and looking curiously at the three in the corner. San had to wonder, were some of them his friends friends? Were some of them mean to his friends? He even recognised one or two of them, who had passed him by on the streets. Did they recognise him? He hoped not...

Once the teacher called everyone's attention to him, he started running them through the routine they would be doing. San watched curiously as the trainees, almost effortlessly, copied the teachers moves. He could even see Yunho and Wooyoung half copying, their shoulders and arms twitching as though they were doing it in their head. He grimaced, knowing he wouldn't get it that fast, but doing his best to keep up.

If he knew in theory, at least he'd be able to work on the practical aspect at home.

The teacher started to help the main class, and Yunho and Wooyoung started to run the routine themselves. It was obvious they'd done it before, so they were just refreshing their memories, and when they felt they remembered it, they turned to San.

They took him through the whole thing, step by step, until he got the basic routine down. Every step, they taught him the right technique, getting him to do it correctly from the getgo. The three had decided that it was the best way to go about it, getting the boy into good habits immediately. If he wasn't taught how to dance wrong, theoretically it should speed up his process...

However that didn't mean San wasn't a little upset when he saw the other trainees moving faster.

He used this to fuel him though, letting Wooyoung and Yunho run him through it until they were happy. About 3/4 of the way through the choreo, the teacher called for them to do it all together.

San knew he wouldn't be able to finish it, and the teacher knew too, but he did his best, and the two dancers were clearly proud of him as he executed everything well. There were a few slip ups with timing, but not as many as they were expecting, and they were grinning at him the whole time. So when the teacher called break, they pulled him to sit down with them and praised him.

San accepted the praise, though not without a blush and a whine, and Yunho started watering him again. Wooyoung pulled out a container of chopped fruit (courtesy of Seonghwa) and handed it to San. He still had to snack at certain intervals to keep his stamina up, as he wasn't as naturally healthy as the other trainees.

San ate obediently, picking up the blackberries and blueberries and chewing on them slowly. He observed the other trainees, head tilting curiously as he saw one glaring daggers at the three in the opposite corner. "What's his problem?" He managed to ask before Yunho shoved another berry into his mouth.

Wooyoung looked, face darkening a little when he saw the trainee in question. "His names Jaewon (not based on any idols), he's just a douche. He's a fantastic rapper and a mediocre dancer, and that's probably the one reason he hasn't been kicked out of the company. He was the next closest to debut with us before we met you, so he's probably just salty. Don't worry about him, just try and stay away from him please."

San nodded, biting his lip before Yunho dragged his attention away by practically shoving a bottle of water up his nose. He whined playfully, slapping it away and complaining how much water they'd made him drink, and then lesson started again.

Once San finished the choreo, they worked on making sure he was executing it well. Powerful when it needed to be, fluid and smooth otherwise, and San listened, learned and copied relatively well. He started finding his own techniques too, like how if he span on the heel of his foot instead the ball he could hold his balance better, and so on. Soon, they were running through the choreo as a trio, San still noticeably behind but incredibly well progressed for his first session.

So when the teacher left, he barely even noticed, too focused on Yunho and Wooyoung teaching him how to do a specific jump into position better than he was. What he did notice, however, was a loud voice.

"So who the hell is this?" Jaewon called loudly, commanding the attention of everyone in the room. The two dancers ignored him, but San recoiled backwards anyway. Jaewon didn't seem too happy, and he was LOUD, and San wasn't sure if he'd be able to handle him.

Jaewon, as if irritated that no one had answered, rolled his eyes. "Come on newbie? Cat got your tongue? Because he's certainly got your feet if your dancing is anything to go by."

"Jaewon-ssi," Yunho's voice was cold, "With all due respect, we are trying to practice here."

Wooyoung was noticeably biting his lip, and San remembered the first time he'd met the boy. Wooyoung was action first, talk later, and he was suddenly incredibly thankful Yunho was there.

"Oh, you won't even give me his name, Yunho-yah?" Jaewon's voice was mocking, "How rude of you, to your hyung as well! Do I not deserve to know the name of the man who took my role in our group?"

"Clearly it wasn't your role if you're not in it," Wooyoung muttered under his breath, pulling San slightly away from the older male. He kept the still delicate boy behind him, and tried to get back to teaching him.

"How rude that he should take my place, considering he can't dance as well as I can," Jaewon taunted, "In fact, he can't even dance at all! Why should he usurp my spot?"

"Don't speak," Wooyoung murmured to San, who had no intentions of opening his mouth. "He's trying to get a rise out of you, he did it to all of us when we were put on the debut lineup."

The ignoring was going fine, until Jaewon said, "What does he have that I haven't? Apart from cocksucking skills?"

Wooyoung froze, clearly angry, and Yunho's jaw set tight. San just swallowed. He wasn't concerned about what Jaewon said, knowing he was trying to get a rise, but he'd never seen the two sunshines get so irritated.

"You think I didn't notice?" The older trainee smirked, "Look at him! A gay through and through! Is that why he took my spot? Is he a good-"

"Kim Jaewon!" Came an infuriated voice, and everyone's heads snapped around to see a seething dance teacher. "Did I hear you bullying another student in my classroom?"

Jaewon froze, and San could see Wooyoung smirk. Before the bully could say anything, Yunho spoke up. "Yes, yes he is. He has been mocking our friend on his first lesson and implied he got his way onto our line up sexually, which, as we all know, is a lie." Yunho cocked an eyebrow, and San was in awe at this side of Yunho. He'd never seen the gentle giant so passive aggressive.

The teacher shook his head. "We will be going to the CEO, young man, to discuss your behaviour. Follow me, class dismissed."

As Jaewon trudged after the dance teacher, pale like it was the first time he'd been caught, Yunho pulled San into a hug.

"Sorry, Jaewon's an ass. I didn't think he'd go this far."

"It's fine," San patted the taller man's back with a little difficulty, "It's not like I haven't heard worse in the past."

"Yeah but still," Yunho shook his head, "At least he got caught this time. Now come on, you need another snack to make up for all the calories you've lost dancing. Then we can head home."

Once they parted, Wooyoung held up a bag of cheese shapes, shaking them teasingly like they were cat treats. "Heeeeeere, kitty kitty kitty ~" He teased, bursting into laughter when San simultaneously flushed and looked disgusted.

"Shut up and give me my damn cheese," San whined, going over to him and playfully snatching the packet off the younger boy. "And don't do that again!"

"No promises," Wooyoung cackled, "That was hilarious!!"

San looked to Yunho for support.

"I mean... You are very cat-like..."

"I hate both of you."

"No you don't."


End file.
